Burdens on your Shoulder

I browsed through Crystal's blog today, and saw all the lovely pictures that she took. Not one with me in it! Bleah, that bitch is so gonna die when I go back. Anyway, I realised that most of the pictures that I like to take nowadays are scenery ones. In fact, after her, I haven't been taking much photos. Have I become more solemn nowadays? Okay, maybe I'm good when it comes to cracking dirty jokes, but that aside, my life seems to have become really serious.

Mom tells Yew Song that I'm having high blood pressure coz I put loads of unnecessary stress on myself. Perhaps that is true. I tend to want to carry the burden of everyone on my shoulders. But is that possible? How long can one carry it around like that? I know I'm not a superhuman. Yet I want to be. Perhaps forced to be. I don't like to depend on others. That's always been an idea instilled into my head, be it from my mom or personal experiences. The feeling of having to bear an insult (after borrowing), be it a joke or not, cannot be taken back. Why? Because u did depend on that someone, and no words can adequately justify your case anymore. MO, if you want to know, this is why I can't take your offer and go back. I must say I may not seem to care about my own pride from the way I put myself down when saying dirty jokes. Yet to tell the truth, I really do care about my pride. If we've got no pride, how do we win? Okay, I not sound damn kiasu. Shit!

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One more thing that I really wish to say. It's really tiring to carry so much weight on your back. That's why Diana, I told you that it's impossible to make everyone happy. You'll probably end up suffering and sulk more! Besides, making one person happy may mean making another's misery. So, be prepared to save the world only if you're prepared to sacrifice yourself and make sure you think about the consequences as well.

All right, phew, back to Medsoc which I didn't quite understand today.