Will to Live

I'm tired after exams, sleeping on the floor for 5 days, and experiencing some emotional problems. But oh well, all's over and I'm glad it is! So yar, have put up my favourite life-inspiring video clip song from Bleach. Hope it works properly this time round unlike the last.

Hmm...

Hmm, I don't know why. I've never felt this feeling for so long already. A little bit of jealousy, slightly moody, and feeling like helping, yet screaming! Haiz, tell me what to do... Coz I'm lost.

Ah, i bathed this evening. Went for some international students dinner thingy today at Chinatown. There were a few of my friends from my previous college, and some of them who were not actually knew her. And then the memories just flowed back again (sad song playing)...

And to think that there are another 2 more new years dinner next week when exams are in 2 weeks. On top of that, my mood is not good. Argh! It's during this kinda times that I really miss my friends back home. I feel like going to play pool with MO, feel like talking to Crystal and borrowing her shoulder for a while, feel like talking to Jiahui coz she seems to make sense all the time (not that Crystal doesn't, haha), disturbing Song Yu so that i'll forget about all my troubles and laugh at her, haha, talking to Ade and Yiling, disturbing QR and playing with her bro, and watch her laugh at him, watching cartoons with my bro, watch documentaries with my dad, talking to my mom over tea, going for dinner with Jocey, going for movies with my army, vs, and vtc friends, play mahjong with the VJ friends of mine and my cousins, and watching TV with them. Wow! What a long sentence. And now, i feel like bathing again...

So i see, i mentioned a lot of girls in the above paragraph. And my friends here have been wondering why the ppl surrounding my life are like just girls. Sounds as though I'm like manaka junpei from ichigo 100% (a erhem, pervetic romantic kinda anime) where a lot of girls like him, only in my case, u ppl perhaps don't like me. Haha! Oh well, me and my sad life. I try not to show it, but sometimes i do, and it kinda affects my friends as well. But I'm glad i have my friends down here lar. They give me the support when i need it, and i'm glad to have met them. That's why i'm enjoying myself down here now.

Yar, so pls lend me your strength coz i need it. If not i'll fall (but since when have i fallen b4). Sigh, i just feel like letting it all go. Talk to me someone pls. I don't want to live in this confused state of mind for my next 2 weeks... Argh, my exams! Please please please...

Haiz, now that i've said all these, i feel slightly better. Maybe i really do need a bath, and hopefully, everything will change. Gambatte POH PEI KEE!

Today's Medsoc Reflective Writing: Obesity

We had medsoc today. And I was writing on my reflective essay and laughing a bit as well about the first 2 paragraphs that i wrote. Ahaha! I think i'm so gonna get screwed by my gp for writing such an essay. Sounds slightly corny - like Mr Ong already. Argh, my merits~~! Anyway, have a read and tell me what you guys think. Haha!

1. List what you consider to be the essential components of a healthy diet. Have your views on diet changed as a result of your reading about diet and overweight? Do you think that being overweight is a medical problem or something that people should deal with themselves?

I believe that one should have a balanced diet – a meal should consist of the 3 important elements within it. However, this is slightly different from the one stipulated by dieticians whereby 55% carbohydrates, 15% proteins and 30% fats are necessary. Does anybody think of eating fats? I believe not. Eating plain oil, butter or margarine sounds gross. The pyramid table of food itself doesn’t even have a section for fats and lipids. So why confuse people with this information, especially when fats are found in most foods anyway. Instead, I think we should replace fats with something useful – fruits and vegetables. Fruits and vegetables have been shown to even boost good cholesterol, which can counteract the effects of bad cholesterol found in fats. 55% carbohydrate is a little debatable. One might be misled into thinking that carbohydrates are good. In fact, this amount might be a little too much. If too much carbohydrates is consumed, they will be converted to fats again, which brings the problem back to square one. Thus, I believe that vegetables and fruits are the key to a healthy diet and helping people lose weight.

Having seen lots of articles and advertisements on diet, my views on diet have not changed much. No doubt, it has definitely affected me in some ways over my choice of foods. However, because I love meat so much, it’s almost a must for me to have them some sort of it every meal. In fact, I have a slight doubt over the food pyramid shown on the slide today. How can eating meat once a week be enough? That’s almost similar to vegetarians. Are carnivores like the tiger more predisposed to CHDs just because it only eats meat? I seriously doubt it. No doubt I do know that eating ‘nice food’ can make us obese and cause detriment to our health. But food is such a good gift from heaven that sometimes I only think about enjoying it rather than being cautious of it. Perhaps this is why obese people find it difficult to change their diets. They do not usually do anything about their diet until something serious happens to them.

Being overweight – who should be responsible for it? This is a question where the answer seems clear, yet it is somewhat debatable. No doubt, obese people have to be responsible for their own diets and lifestyle. A health professional can advise one to eat less and exercise more, but the overall action and outcome depends on the patient themselves. Saying this, Mr A, a patient whom we interviewed today pointed out something noteworthy. It is true that sometimes obese people are born like this. Their genetic make-up makes them more susceptible to obesity. Who wants to be born fat? No one does. Life is indeed unfair, and the fact that this is so, makes it even more depressing for them. They end up going into a vicious cycle and become even more obese as a result. Who should we blame now? Their parents? Or perhaps themselves. While it would still seem that it is partly their fault for lacking the motivation to lose weight, we have to take into account their plight and emotional stress suffered. Thus, while obese people are responsible for their own weight problems, health professionals should give them the advice and motivation needed to aid them.

In fact, I believe that as long as health professionals have a chance in helping these patients, they should do so. More emphasis can definitely be done on areas such as exercise. Many people such as Mr A and Mrs B say that they do not eat much. However, I believe that it would be difficult for them to say that they have put in conscientious effort into exercise. I was thinking: perhaps we can try making them slightly guilty and embarrassed. That way, they might actually start listening to and obeying their doctors.

A Fresh New Beginning

After a good new year's dinner and stuff, it was kind of a jaded start to the new year with school work and stuff. Just as i was feeling crappy and not being able to download my bleach after i jammed the server, i stumbled upon my once favourite movie, Beautiful Life! I'm so glad that i did coz it kind of reminds me that we should seize the beautiful things in our life while we can and do whatever we can to make it a good one. And now, i feel well again!

Yiling, i hope u'll apply the above for your exams and good luck with it. For the rest of u, hope you guys have a fruitful new year ahead of you.

Nightmares

How cliche right? Have one post on dreams and then now one on nightmares... Haha! I don't know what on earth i was thinking but just a few days ago, i dreamt that i had another paper during the holidays. A specific one just on molecular kinetics. God damn it, but there isn't such a topic in my funmed module. What the hell was i thinking of. And then suppossedly, there was also another one on pharmacology: pharmacokinetics and also on some other shitty topics. To top it off, i got so scared after waking up that i went to Diana's room to ask her if there was really a test. Can you believe it? Argh, i feel like killing myself! Got laughed at by Aaron and her in the end! Well, serves me right.

Anyway, I'm at my cousin's place now. Feels really good to be here at times, coz this place reminds me of home. And btw, I'm sorry peeps if I'm not going home, haiz especially MO. It's not that i don't wanna go home, but it's just that i can't bear to splurge the money. First thing, I'll probably be using someone else's money, which i'll be really guilty to use. In fact, i always have to refuse an offer like this because i really can't stand depending on someone else. The feeling sucks totally. No one will ever know the pride-swallowing siege that i had to endure when i was quarreling with someone back then. But it's all right, at least it's led me to realise that i should learn how to stand on my two feet and work for what i want.

And also because of this, it has at least led me to realise the importance of money. Well, to me, money is not that important, but sometimes it is. My dad always shoots me for this by telling the whole world "My son says that money is not important". It's really hurting and embarassing each time he says that. It's not that i think money is not important. It's just that to me, it's not the most important thing. Sigh, at least he's got me to learn to say that money is in fact, still important. Argh, i don't know... But i feel that i rather stay here instead of wasting the money going back. Shit, now i'm beginning to sound materialistic, but at least, understand the amount of pain that my family has to suffer to send me back and forth peeps. Sometimes, what my dad say is true although i don't really like admitting it. Even if you've got money, you shouldn't just simply spend it coz you've got it. You've got to save it. Otherwise, how do people save up to eventually lead a better life. Besides, i've got things to do here so i shan't go back this time round. I have to say this: MO's a different exception... He's earning freaking too much! Haha.

So yar, i hope that you will forgive me for not going back... Gomenai...

Dreams...

Have you ever wondered what dreams are, and what do they mean? From ancient times, dreams have long been associated with predictions of the future, things that could possibly happen such as in "The Pharoaph's Dream".

Just 2 days ago, I had a dream about my previous crush. Well, some of you may know who she is, and some of you not. Well, the dream was really weird. I was standing in VTC in my usual spot next to the phone when suddenly she appeared. I don't know why, but after some time, MO gave me a ring to propose to her. WTH! I couldn't believe that happened. And i didn't know what to do, coz i don't want to commit myself to something that i couldn't decide upon at that time and end up hurting people. But then again, it's her! And i couldn't believe i did. WTH! Do people in dreams do irrational things? I hope so... Otherwise i'll be ashamed at myself. So anyways, back to the dream, she was suddenly in London with me. I don't understand what my dream means. I've already told myself to put it down behind me coz I really felt that i was getting way into her life. And did i really like her 100%? I wasn't sure of that too. Plus if i were to wait for 4.5 years, what if things suddenly change and she's not the one? Was the dream an inner desire? Was it something that i wanted all along? Perhaps i shouldn't even call it a crush coz after the dream i was somewhat happy and smiley. Lol!

But then again, i occasionally have wet dreams and erhem... Yeah, my dark secret! Do you call that an inner desire? Perhaps the lust bit but i really wished i could put all of those back behind and not look at it. Then again, i know that i've gotta face the consequences. So all in all, should i call a dream something that is constantly bugging the sub-concious side of us? Sigh, is it ever possible to let go and not have anymore of these dreams? No doubt, erhem... The feeling is good, but it's terrifying as well... I swear it is! This is probably a scar that i've gotta live with all my life, so please don't think that "I was so lucky"...

Anyways, i've been doing jack shit for the holidays, everyday waking up at 3 plus... and 5 two days ago! Argh... I can't believe it. Thank goodness I've replied to quite a few e-mails today and sorted out my mail folders. Hope to do sth useful over the next few days so that I'll feel more satisfied with myself. And yay, Bleach 62 is out. But there's some problems with the download :( Anyways, merry x'mas to u ppl and enjoy yourselves!

The Angelman in Bleach

Anyways, i realised from Diana that Shinigamis (Death Gods) are actually something that's part of Japanese culture. Apparently, the japanese people believe in them and so, lots of cartoons have it...

So, all the more ppl who like to learn about jap culture should watch it. (Yes, i'm referring to you maybel!) Haha!

Anyways, was watching the new episode of Bleach today and studying... And i think i'm going crazy! Haha...

And then i suddenly thought about Bleach and out of nowhere, some sort of stupid theory struck me! I diagnosed that Ichimaru had Angelman's syndrome. Lol! That was so stupid. Ichimaru Gin is one of the characters in there who wears a constant sly smile on his face. You never seem to know what he is up to. At times, when you think he's bad, he apparently comes into the picture to offer to help someone. So weird but exciting right? Ahaha!


Anyway, it was really funny when we diagnosed that. Haha! Matthew, Diana and me just went nuts laughing for a while, till our stomachs hurt. And shit, now I feel bad about comparing these kids to a cartoon character. But anyways, yeaps, Crazy Day. Hopefully the last till exams are over.

Diana was suggesting that we set up a Bleach Club or sth. Lol, we can collect 5 pounds from everyone, telecast free Bleach every Wednesday on CCA day (which also happens to be the day each episode of Bleach is released), and cosplay! Ahaha, i think we're going nuts!

Some bad news today: My toilet got flooded... Urgh, have to let the resident offices know and there was just a fire alarm just now at 12:30 am. Crazy right? Haha, Matthew and me were in my shorts!!

And the good news: Mom's graduating with her Masters. Congrats mom. Really proud of you, especially for someone who was initially chinese educated, and got first-class Honours when she went to UK. I must really say i respect her to the core. And of coz, my bro's out of BMT! Whee boy~ I sent Bleach home for you too... Hope u'll receive it soon. And of course, hope you've got a good posting.

Matthew asked me what musical instruments i know how to play... And i told him recorder... And then he laughed his ass off and asked if he could put that on his blog... ... ... Haha! Lol okay, gotta sleep now to get enough rest for MedSoc tomorrow.

Jay Chou - Qing Tian

故事的小黄花
从出生那年就飘着
童年的荡秋千
随记忆一直晃到现在

ㄖㄨㄟ ㄙㄡ ㄙㄡ ㄒ一 ㄉㄡ ㄒ一
re sou sou xi dou xi
ㄌㄚ ㄙㄡ ㄌㄚ ㄒ一 ㄒ一 ㄒ一 ㄒ一 ㄌㄚ ㄒ一 ㄌㄚ ㄙㄡ
la sou la xi xi xi xi la xi la sou


吹着前奏望着天空
我想起花瓣试着掉落
为你翘课的那一天
花落的那一天
教室的那一间
我怎么看不见
消失的下雨天
我好想再淋一遍

没想到失去的勇气我还留着
好想再问一遍
你会等待还是离开

刮风这天 我试过握着你手
但偏偏 雨渐渐
大到我看你不见
还要多久 我才能在你身边
等待放晴的那天 也许我会比较好一点
从前从前 有个人爱你很久
但偏偏 风渐渐
把距离吹得好远
好不容易 又能再多爱一天
但故事的最后你好像还是说了拜拜

The Singapore Weather

Diana posted something very funny, and i thought that i'd just put it up here. Haha!



It's so weird when sometimes we keep complaining about Singapore's weather. Don't you think?

Added this song that Tanny likes... We thought it was nice too. Enjoy it ppl!

PBL Write-up

I can't believe i spent so many hours doing my PBL write-up. Been working almost the entire day (not to mention i played a bit too :p... Haha! That's not important).

I must say i'm proud to have written a 2000 word essay (Had problems constricting it... Matt and me used the picture-squeeze text-cheat method). But using 37 references is crazy. Did i spend too much time on it or what? But anyway, gotta finish the other one tomorrow so that i can start studying for exams!

And right now, the "She likes me for me..." song is playing in my head right now. Will try to put it up asap!

Brainwaves

Courtesy of my cousin, i just realised that my general knowledge is not as exceptional as his. Argh!

Your IQ Is 120

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Above Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Busy times...

Tanny come over to my place to stay the other day. Had quite some fun! Thanks matt for letting me bunk in ur room. Really appreciate it. Had dim sum at royal china before sending her off to nottingham where she went to find yiling and zihui. Matt said the food was really royal, and so was the price. Haha!

After she left, felt a bit lost for a while and then it got okay. Started to do my work and whacked my projects. I don't know why... It's like i keep telling myself that i gotta study, and then i always keep slacking around for a while, either playing cs, watching a bit of bleach of just doing trash and talking crap. But i still must say i did quite a bit of work.

And then, sat, tanny called me and told me her dad wasn't coming over here anymore coz his flight was cancelled, so she asked if she could stay with me again. Haha, more time to flirt with the girl huh? Haha, no lar... I never once slept with her in the same room throughout her whole trip okay. Am i a gentleman or wat? Haha, but then, i had to impose on matt again. I'm really sorry dude. Will bring you go eat royal food again. Haha! Let me know when u need to come down and bunk or sth. And there goes 1 nights of pbl write-up and possible projects that could be done. Haha! But it's all right. It's just one night... I must cover it back and whack tomorrow after seeing her off at the airport. And plus, Tanny's mom agreed to date me out for a night when i go back. haha! Actually, i have to say tanny resembles christine quite a bit in some photos so yeah, the matt's sad music plays again... Haha!

2 of us in the eye...

We went to the London Eye at sunset just now, and watched Les Miserables with the rest of the people. For those of you who don't know how to pronounce it, it's 'Le Misera'. Guess it's probably french, that's why. But it was really good, just that the cheapo 12.50 pounds ticket could only afford a restricted upper row seat. Argh! Sorry guys.

I think that my skills are quite good, though i must admit the picture was a bit blur.

Before i forget, happy belated birthday celine and ah shan! Haha, celine, i did tell ur sis to help me wish it in advance. Sad story, haiz... Yeah, maybel u know it. Shan, i wasn't home the whole day today, so sorry, and my internet was down for 2 nights, so haha, paiseh ah! And crys, of coz maybel gets the best one! Haha... :p Hope u guys have something to do after ur exams. Girls, please remember to share it with mo. Cousins and bro, i'll send it to u asap or when i have the time. I'm putting it here to remind myself of it. Haha!

Tanny asked how come i don't seem so stressed about my work as yiling, when my course is supposed to be harder? Haha, i don't know why, but i just don't feel like stressing myself out now that i'm in uni. I want to really enjoy it. Though i know that sometimes, results is not always everything, and i should be glad that i'm already in med sch, results in the end somehow still matter... Argh! I don't know why, plus i don't feel good when i don't put in my 90+ % effort to something. Somehow, i'm really afraid to promise and swear to myself that i'm going to start working hard for this funmed exam, coz i'm afraid that i will break this promise. But i guess i've gotta start doing something about it, and it's going to be right now!

Thanks everyone for ur encouragement and stuff... Jiahui and Vanessa, i really like ur quotes. Thank you very much. So it's going to be on this blog to serve as a source of inspiration to everyone.

"Diamond is just a piece of coal that did well under pressure" - Vanessa

"It takes as much stress to be a success as it does to be a failure" - Emilo James (Er dunno wat already... Haha), thanks to Jiahui

I've put up the Bleach intro video here finally! I'm really impressed by Ichigo's determination, and i'm going to use him as my source of inspiration. Crystal, i hope he becomes ur next ying mu or sth... =) Haha!

And the last and biggest thing that I'm going to do here is to SWEAR to everyone and myself that i'll start giving my best to this funmed exam. Perhaps i've been spending too much time on pbls and stuff, i don't know. But now that i've put it in here, it becomes all the more important for me to adhere to it. Phew and sigh! Haha, take care guys.

PPG, let me know ur postings, stevie, i'll contact u after my exams regarding the bike if u dun mind. After Dec 15. Mom, sorry for not calling ah but internet was down. Rest of u, enjoy yourselves with the show while i piah ah :p

The Shower...

Damn, i just typed a paragraph and it disappeared.

I got screwed so bad by my mom, as in literally screwed, haha! But yeah it was about the moans and groans thing that i posted in my 3rd last post i think for those of u who know. Yeah, got an entire e-mail from her and blah blah... And she forced me to delete it away away. Argh, just had a cultural diversity lesson that day and i think it's true that we as a a generation have leaped on forward a lot from our predecessors, even those a generation back like our parents. I think we are in a sense more open and tend to be more blunt and direct towards others. Haha, i dunno but i just prefer to speak my mind. Okay, now maybel's gonna screw me! Oops, wrong word. Haha! Argh, anyway, was feeling a little grumpy after that so i complained to crys. And she suggested that i have another blog which my mom won't have any idea about. Lol, that's a good plan girl but i must 'be a man'! Haha. So i went to take my shower and suddenly, i thought about crystal goh. Look what i've got down there now. Haha...

It really is amazing to know the things we think about in the shower. All sorts of things... reminiscence about VS X-country, VTC, my 'past', good old school days, and of course not to mention the girls. Haha! But it's so weird that as far as i can remember, i've got no weird dirty and wet fantasies in the shower before. Haha, which really is amazing. Lol, in fact i hardly have fantasies, i think. Lol! I really think that's true but then again... So while i was drying myself, i saw some hair dropping off my head. Shit, i think i'm really balding because of the hard water here. Argh!

Then i suddenly remembered in the evening while doing my erhem business in the toilet, i saw some strands of hair on my toilet floor. It must have been my hair coz they were pretty short. And then suddenly i just remembered that peijia used my toilet in the morning. And looking at her from view then, i felt so disgusted at myself, urgh! Dunno whether it's normal hair or that kinda hair. Haha! So while doing it, i started counting the no of hairs on the floor. There were 4-5 of them and i was urgh, feeling embarassed. Then suddenly i thought to myself, that kinda hair is usually more curly huh. But that slight hope of mine just had to be relinquised with one of them being curly. Argh, damn it!

Anyways, thanks for maybel and steven for ur bicycle advices. I think i'll get it back home and a cheap one in the meantime which i'm eyeing real hard right now. And qrung, thanks and study hard. Good luck for O's. And happy birthday in advance =) I can't find the pressie i bought now but i'll somehow. Nites all~

Bicycles...

Argh, i want to get a bike, but i don't know which one to get. Want to use it for triathlon training as well as saving on transport when going for lectures and to the hospital. Haha! I hope maybel will come online and help me take a look and decide. First one is almost twice the price of 2nd but it seems to have been modded to a really good extent. Please advice me girl. Thanks!

The Swimming Skill...

Went for run and had a mini-swim test yesterday again. Did 1.2km in 32 minutes. Not sure if the time is accurate or not coz they turned the clock forward while i was swimming halfway and i had to minus off some minutes off it. But anyway, I don't think that the timing is very good lar. Rested quite a bit between some lengths coz i got tired quite easily. So i know i can definitely do better...

And i think i know what's the problem with it. I was always training to sprint in the water when i was 7. And that was where i kind of stopped my training. So it becomes a tendency for me to kick my legs a lot when doing front crawl (Do u call this freestyle?), and that's how i lose all my energy. Argh, stupid.

Anyways, was in the kitchen with Taharim last night. And just as i walked out, i saw my other housemate bring a girl into his room, one whom we did not know. I was like wow! Guess what, after bathing and just about to get into bed, i could hear the moans and groans of him and the girl coming from across the wall (his room is just next to mine). I don't know whether to feel happy or irritated. Anyway, they took pretty fast so i managed to get a peaceful sleep. Haha.

Got to do pbls now. Mom called and woke my conscience up. Then I'll watch Bleach with Matt, Diana and Aaron later! Yay, bleach is so good. Haha! Hope you guys enjoy this video clip (Hope maybel doesn't get offended by it). Speaking of maybel, good luck to all u ppl having exams. Luck!

Endless Love Video Clip

Daylight saving has been switched off so clocks are now back to 8 hours diff between singapore and here instead of the 7. 1 more hour of sleep. Whee~!

All rite, promised on mo's blog to show u guys a funny video clip on bush. Haha! I hope it plays successfully. Easy on the server right. Can only view it once every hour. So if u can't view it, just do so after hour. Can't expect too much from geocities.

Enjoy!

Catch-up

Yeap, basically got lotsa things to catch up on. Work, and with u ppl. Haha!

Talking about work, i was so pissed yesterday (Tuesday) when i spent 3 and a half hours doing one PBL write-up and realising that I did it in a wrong way right from the start! Argh...

We had triathlon training again just now in the evening. And just as i was about to leave my place, the post-lady came and passed me my googles from Singapore. Yay, whee~ So efficient, it was sent on monday i think. At least better than the couches company. Ordered a bolster for 2 weeks already and it has yet to arrive. Well, apparently, ppl here don't know what a bolster is, so after seeing it, many of them got jealous, especially this nice housemate of mine, Katie. Haha, hope she'll like it for her birthday present in Jan. Wah, i'm really ahead of time man. Haha! But only sometimes :(

Ran 7+ km again and swam after that. Was supposed to do 1.6km training today but at 470m, I got tired, so I decided to switch from freestyle to breast stroke. Damn it, wrong decision! Not sure if it was the 2nd kick... But yar, kicked so hard that my leg cramped up immediately. I was like, wth~ Screwed up my swim again just like that. Came up, stretched, and realised that i forgot to take some salt water after the run, that's probably why :p Oops, hehe! But yar, just when i thought it was a real pity while bathing, the rest all got out of the water. There was some kind of ventilation problems in the whole swimming pool, and everyone was literally sweating! Lol.

And now i know we always die during trainings. Craig tests the difficulty of the swim the day before till his max and comes up with trainings for novices (i just do this lol), intermediates and advanced. And he didn't take in the running factor. No wonder we always never seem to be able to finish it~

Anyways, got a few things to say, thanks mom for the goggles, and my upcoming shirts. Please post it a bit quickly. Got medical placements and attachments really soon now. Thanks my other ma for your embryology book and carrot cake (Got something to tell u that u're not going to be pleased yar, i'm partly to be blamed, but hey, not entirely not my fault), thanks to mo for offering to pass me ur mp3 recorder for lectures, but i hope u've not bought one or sth. Mom is looking it for one right now. Thanks to matt, aaron and dina. Your notes are real good. Haha! And u guys are great friends (not to mention the rest). Haha! Jiahui, study hard for the next few weeks and good luck. Song, you too~

QR, thanks for being the first, and Crystal, the last. Haha! Good luck to ur exams girl, don't be a loo-slacker. Vanessa, thanks for the short blog, ehem. You still have not given me ur blog address. I hope mystrawberrycookie is getting better too. Didn't mean to agitate u regarding the question the other day. Yar, get kinda confused sometimes, but sometimes it's true, i can be really blunt at times. But, you really enlightened me a lot with your erhem, biased GP essay of "why men are such jerks".

But in fact, i think matt and platonic are right... Choosing, realising, all that kinda shit, it doesn't work in real life. Use your eyes, feelings, and of course brains (all because of maybeline woo... haha) and a whole lot of other stuff to decide on the things to do and the path to take in our lives when we meet the one. As what u said in ur last paragraph, "love is a complex thing.. but we'll understand it more as we go along. mistakes are not all losses if we learn from em :)" I hope the last line applies to you too.

Before i forget, all the people who have wished me for my birthday or given me stuff. Really liked all ur stuff. Thanks. Will post more pictures on it when i'm really free. Must m-u-g!!! Argh!

Everything In Its Time by Corrinne May

sometimes i wonder what lies ahead
how long till my hunger is fed
they say it's hard to make it in this part of town
so many people on this merry-go-round

some folks try astrology
some turn to crystal balls
to find an answer
to get through it all
i just fall on my knees and i try to pray
in the silence i can hear Him say

'cause the river runs and the river hides
out to the ocean and under the sky
i promise you, the answer will come
hold on to patience and watch for the sign
everything in its time

i often feel like i'm two steps behind
somebody must have moved that finish line
there are a thousand reasons
why i should give up
but i'm stubborn in the things i believe

'cause the river runs and the river hides
out to the ocean and under the sky
i promise you, the answer will come
hold on to patience and watch for the sign

cause maybe there's another plan
one i still can't see
a little surprise, like your love in my life
funny how time changes how we see

there are a thousand reasons
why i should give up
but i'm stubborn in the things i believe

'cause the river runs and the river hides
out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you the answer will come
hold on to patience just watch for the sign
everything in its time
everything in its time

hope that your answer will come with time (i'm sure it'll)

and stop slacking in class with crystal goh. btw,

"there are a thousand reasons
why i should give up
but i'm stubborn in the things i believe" --> Haha, now crystal, do u remember this? You yourself said that u think this is so true when it was me, so why not cheetah girl now? Haha :p Bleah!

The Break-Up

Okay, i've got lotsa work, so won't be putting a lot of stuff now. Will do so once things are more settled. Or actually, i've been slacking, that's why~ Haha! (Woke up at 3:30pm today :p) Hope my mom's not looking at this, haha!

Was talking to this friend of mine, and I found out that she's got the same thing as me that i felt. Not we like each other or wat lar, haha! When you break up, you hate it when people tell you to let go, that kinda thing. Isn't it so weird? Haha, that in fact is the most common piece of advice that a friend would give. Don't you think so? "Take it easy lar huh..." and the same old usual stuff. It's funny how we feel so helpless at this point of time when we are the ones usually giving advice to other people, and now that someone has advised you what to do, you choose not to take the advice and instead dread hearing it.

I guess it's coz it's just the thing that we don't want to do, coz of hope... We somehow hope that the person will come back to our lives one day. You know, even if it is the smallest bit of hope, you still hope that it will come true, like you know, somehow god will just be there to make sure that u get your wish and make you happy.

Hope is good. It makes us yearn for something, to believe in something, hoping that it will come true. I was talking to Crystal about this... You know sometimes, hope is good for people, for example, it makes patients believe that treatment can help them, not to give up faith and not to give up as long as there's a chance.

But sometimes, hope can really kill. When expectations are really high, when someone treats it as a belief, when you just yearn so much for it to come true, hope just brings you down! Knowing now or later that it won't be fulfilled or for some other reason, it can sometimes just make u so depressed. That's why there's such a thing as not raising the hopes too high for patients, but instead letting them die with dignity, fulfilling their last wishes and stuff, and letting them go in peace. It really is difficult to judge when to do so...

So i hope my good friend, that u'll not be irritated when other ppl tell u to let it go (Oh yes, there's such a song by Corrine May, and Crystal Goh, where's my Corrine May CD? Haha, unless i forgot u returned it... Erhem!) coz they in fact mean well. Rather be glad that u have them caring for you. Argh, actually i'm pretty sure that u know that and u'll not get irritated, perhaps a little lar huh i guess. Plus i think this is the 2nd time i'm telling u this. Argh, why do i keep repeating myself? Haha! (So now u know my info is not from someone, erhem - unreliable as can be seen - but rather from my own experience)

As what u say... Breathe out and in, take and enjoy ur time and u'll be fine. So take care, stay cool as u are, be strong, enjoy your life and we love ya lots~ Muacks =)

The Day

Well, let's start from 2 days ago...

We cooked again, whee~ Haha!

Chinese dried sausage with egg fried rice, Stir-fried spinach and honey-roasted chicken breast and thighs. Whee! And of coz, erhem... Leftover, haha!

Okay, i know the chicken is a little bit chao ta (burnt) but...

... doesn't this look great? Haha! (Are you salivating already?) But matthew took this picture just like one of those S11 display signs for foods, so i really take my hat off him. You're the man! Haha.

Whoo, isn't this great? We've got a guitarist playing music for us while we ate... Haha! And poor old sleeping beauty (matthew).

Tuesday was urgh...! We had PBLs on socio-effects on AIDS and confidentiality about this young woman who was homeless and did risky behaviour though she was aware of it. And one of the objectives was --> Define Risky behaviour... What the lar... This is seriously hard to find man. Haha! Went back for a quick pizza and strudel for dinner. They got burnt so i'm not going to place the pictures here.

Wednesday (eve) - Wednesday's are always good. Only had 2 hours of lectures today. Hehe, from 11 to 1. After that we went to this kebab restaurant for lunch. Wow, the portion was so much that i took away the balance and kept it for dinner. Hehe! And matthew was trying to illustrate how this guy Killa Kela could create musical instrument beats with his mouth. It was damn cool lar. Haha! We're going to go watch him at Fabric on 21st man =) And btw ppl, russell peters is performing next year in Sg, UK, and Australia, so take note! Hehe.

Had triathlon afer that. It was drizzling... So only 6 of us went. Ran to Golden Jubilee Bridge today. It was about 6km i think, shorter than the one we did last week, so i felt it was pretty much of a breeze. Hehe~ Could still sprint at the last part. Think i'm going to go to Westminster (7km one) next week and if i'm quite all right with it, i'll proceed to Lambeth Bridge (10km) next next week. Let's hope i can progress quickly =) Swims was good today. Regretted sprinting at the last part coz i could feel the cramp thingy creeping into my toes. So i had to be cautious while swimming, trying not to bend my toes and exerting too much. And i completed it! All in freestyle somemore. Couldn't even complete it last week when i mixed strokes due to the cramp. Haha, i'm so proud of myself.

Went back home by tube. As we came out of Mile End station and reached the junction, 3 fire engines were coming in all different directions and converged to Whitechapel Road. I was telling Arjun... "Oh, what coordination. Must be one of those false alarms at Pooley House again. And true enough, could see them signalling into the college. Wonder why they send so many fire engines from different stations when our hall has such a reputation for false alarms (at least once a week). Lol, no wonder the ppl get taxed 40% lol. Fire doors everywhere, ultra-sensitive smoke alarms, what more can u say man. Haha! Laughed at Katie, Diana and the rest coz just as i reached there, we could go in again. Lol!

Had egg mayo bread with my takeaway mixed doner for dinner. Trying to take as much meat and carbo to build up those winny pathetic muscles. Ahaha, maybel says she wants to change her body with me, i don't mind. And NO, i'm not implying u're fat girl. Haha! *Or maybe i am :p* But i wanna thank you girl, if not for you, i won't be inspired to push myself in running and stuff. And i'm so grateful that i'm having healthy meals now. Haha, don't worry ma, i'm eating healthy food here.

The bitch! called before tris... Then got her sis to talk to me coz jon called her on the other line. What the hell lar, how dedicated. And still say that i'm always the busy one who can't afford any time to talk to ya... Haha! But thanks for it girl, knew u were trying to get me all the way till Sg time 12 am. Thanks mom too for the erhem... Brief msg. Lol, and thanks for sending me my precious shirt and goggles. Gotta train and study hard man!

Quan Rung called at me at 1159 pm here. How sweet of you. Thanks for that and the card which i received on Monday, how sweet and nice of ya girl =) Hehe! Still made herself sound so good by telling me that it was her first msg of the month (her bill starts on the 13th) Lol. Left to do my laundry immediately after so that no one can look for me... Haha! And guess wat, i saw this all over the floor along my way out...

Haha, i'm so tempted to go. They've got this phrase "Thursday nights are never going to be the same". Wow, sounds cool. Never been to one before. Haha, and besides, the address no coincides with my age, and it's on later tonight on 13 Oct... Does this mean something? And there's a birthday package somemore. Lol! My only last chance before i turn 21 and have to start behaving more maturedly. Haha, oh well, better kick this dirty thing of mine. Don't want to spend my birthday going to these places either. Want to fully enjoy my life meaningfully. Whee~!

But back to the running away part, sometimes i really want to spend it with my really good friends even though there may not be many, maybe it's coz i got too many of a few hypocritical friends back in college lar huh. And maybe that's why i'm a little withdrawn. Haha! Came back and found a card from Aaron too. Thanks man, especially the last part: "Please don't forget my birthday. Want present." Haha, lol, okay i won't forget it. Only 8 days more man.

And thanks Jiahui, MO and 'someone' for the birthday msgs on my blog. Song too although u did not really wish and tried to show how pissed u were at me for not coming back this December. But really, i've only got 2 weeks. And besides i can't make it for my mom's graduation, so really no point already. Gotta save the money too, or else my dad will skin me!! Haha, but love ya all ppl. Thanks. And mo, remember to help me get the birthday of those ppl. Haha! And thanks to my 2nd ma too. Thought u forgot already and was planning to suan u on Saturday night. Haha, and besides, i can't really complain much. Going to get both roast chicken and baked rice from someone who hardly cooks so i really appreciate it =) No ice cream cake? You bake the cake and i'll get Sainsbury's 2 for 1 Magnum ice cream packs man. Haha! Okay, got ethics lecture tomorrow which Nick asked me to skip, but i'm a good boy, so i'll not. Nites to everyone and thanks very much. Let's see what my housemates have in store for me tmr...

Dinner at Flat 37 Pooley House

Ryan dropped by today to transfer and exchange the oxford pictures... And he was late~!! Haha, but i don't blame him. And ma happened to drop by as well, after which Aaron joined us when we already had a 3-some going on :p... Nah, he dropped by coz he wanted to cook dinner with me.

So then we chatted about the course exams and stuff, as well as the books, and those guys just rattled book names off their mouths like nobody's business lar. Apparently, depending on the sizes of books, you could give age and sex to them as well. So for example, if you had Kumar & Clark Clinical Medicine, you could potentially have a baby kumar & clark(a smaller concise book) and a mama kumar & clark as well(the really really COMPLETE COLLECTOR'S EDITION). Wonder if they bring the smaller ones to the toilet and read and mug the big ones to turn themselves into einsteins lar. Don't know what kinda freaks those doctors are man. Then again... Better take back my word, haha! But according to Ryan, small one's good for bring to clinics and big ones... ...

After they left and Aaron and me went to cook our dinner, we got Diana and Katie to join us. Whee! What massive fun. Cooking is so fun, think i can become a cook already. Haha! But anyway, here are the pics:

Don't cook sauces for too long man~ They end up like a white pile of... erhem!

This looks more like it~ Haha! And the sauce goes with the veg later on...

There's the iron chef. Hehe! But actually, i only helped cook the ready-to-bake fish, cut the potatoes and heat up the baked beans only. Oh ya, not to forget, taking in and out the oven saucepans. Now Aaron has banned me from saying, "I didn't do anything much!" Lol!

Itadakimasu: Diana, Katie and Aaron(Flat 40 traitor... Lol!)

Our meal~ Yay! Doesn't it look finger-lickin-good! God, i'm disgusting (and i know that, haha)! Haha, yum yum!

Introducing the Special for today: Baked cod fish, white saucy vegetables, cheesey potato slices and baked beans. It's funny how sth so simple can taste so good~ Hehe, maybe when u cook it your own, it just tastes betta! Haha.

All right, gotta finish up on my pbl now, argh~ stupid HIV and AIDS, don't know why the first infected person was so kinky with the apes... ... :p But here are the other Oxford pictures from Diana's and Helen's cam. Shit, Diana's cam is the ultra slim Sony PowerShot 5.1 megapixels whereas mine's 5.0 =( But i can zoom. Hahaha!:

Ballioil College i think~ Shit, hope i the name and spelling right, don't want to incur the wrath of the students there.

Ryan (our senior), me and Aaron in front of a corner of the library and church school!

Christchurch College: Where the first Harry Porter was filmed. It cost 3 pounds to get in, so forget it! Haha. Cheapskate Singaporeans...

Don't know what this girl was thinking. Haha!

I love...

...the loos at the famous Oxford Ice Cream Shop man. Haha!

Punting (Put your long stick... erhem... into the water, stick it into the ground to push your boat along)!! Diana and Clarissa slacking while i punted with Ryan probably trying to control the boat direction and Aaron taking the photo i guess. Haha!

Shit, i think i look cool. Haha!

At least Clarissa said i can be a boatman now. Damn it, this is getting outta hand, i've got too many profressions already. Helen and Menaka asked if i was a photographer or medic, next thing i'm a cook and now a boatman :( Lol! Hope i don't go to the entertainment business :p (If you know what i mean - Russell Peters joke, haha!)

Shit, spent 1 hr blogging already. All rite, seriously, pbls time!

Shit, this has gotta be the last pic! Argh!! All of us had a great time punting as well enjoying the trip in Oxford though it rained =)